Sometimes when you’re very lucky, you get to see just a little of what’s going on inside someone else’s head!Read More
One Christmas morning about two hundred and fifty years ago I woke up and found a wrapped version of this space vehicle in my bed. Brilliant! Wonderful! Until I pressed the on switch.
Flashing lights, spacecraft noises and panic. This was no Christmas present from loving parents but, rather, a tin and plastic assassin sent by the supremely evil Anti Christmas Wizard. SuperDad came to the rescue, alerted by my screams. One flick of a switch sent the Made in Taiwan killer into silent coma.
Years later I came across it in a market stall. Coincidence? Probably not. While taking photos for my personal X Files, I heard the pilot whisper “So we meet again…”Read More
A vast terrace full of sun-lovers. Cocktails, wine and beer. This waiter moved like no other: a master class in speed, balance and efficiency. I’d never seen anything like it. Whenever an empty glass touched a table or the floor and it did not matter how far apart or how many glasses there were, he’d be there snapping them up like a magpie man.
I watched for a while, hoping to discover his secret or to figure out how he could be everywhere at the same time. There were two possibilities: either he was a multiplicity of himself (something I could see by virtue of sun and Belgian beer) or his other job was as a dancer at the National Cartoon Theatre; working cafés was simply a way to keep fit.Read More
Sooner or later I’m going to open a magazine and be confronted with a personalised talking ad.
Yes. Now that’s the proper way to take a lunch break! Lean back and enjoy a luxurious Thermo Sunshine Prosthetic Summer!
A Bergdal Petrochemicals product*.
*sandwiches and synthetic apple courtesy of Edibility Inc.
Great Painters’ ghosts cannot resist the occasional doodle.Read More
Cities are fragile. They are panels in a stained glass window. A super ecosystem of life. Look after it.Read More
The Atlantic Ocean is built from ten thousand tongues with an insatiable appetite for coast lines. Scientific research has shown the frothy waves to actually be expressions of marine happiness. Remember that when you and your boat are being tossed around by a playful sea; it’s just the water having fun.Read More
The Pantheon is full of magic. Somewhere there is a secret Pantheon Handbook containing detailed and well illustrated tips on getting something extra from the building. The book was found guilty of driving too many people into madness for which it received a life sentence in solitary confinement.Read More
The women draw up plans for the future. Their excitement created a minor earthquake and sent tremors through the cafe. Like antelopes pausing at a watering hole, tension and silence. Café people wondered What is this wonderful thing we’re breathing?Read More
Whenever a Fair comes to town don’t forget to take a ride in any of the wonderful aircraft. Air Amsterdam provides the most lavish views of the City for a few euros. No passports, just a ticket to ride.Read More
To a newcomer, Amsterdam is nothing but a fast moving river of cyclists!Read More
A summer party at a primary school.Live performances under an early evening sun.
A primary encyclopaedia of entertainment. The children use the stage as their playground. We parents are treated to a Summer Circus.
Seeing Good Queen Victoria in this position brings to mind a situation in which her personal styling committee went for a banana theme. It could have been for Empire Day celebrations or the opening of a new session of Parliament. “Trust us Queenie,” Said her styling team, “The people will simply love it.” And in style she trusted.
Days later… “All rise for Her Majesty. Today she’ll be wearing a banana cape, banana sunglasses and a banana hat with matching banana shoes and handbag.”
…And so began the First Great Exodus. By ship, by canoe and rowing boat, stylists fled from Britain’s shores and headed for the continent.
Flags were invented by Filibert Flappie. As with all great inventions, it happened by accident. Filibert was conducting research in to quick drying clothes lines. He was knighted for his service to nationalism.Read More
This is a sad case of the little boat that would not leave its Mother’s side. “Go on-“ said Momma Boat, “-get outta here. Find yourself a captain. Get yourself a cargo. You’re a big boat now.”Read More
Article 6, section 1, paragraph 62 clearly states There will be no zooming around town as if it is Spa- Francorchamps.Read More
There was a game we played as children called King of the Castle. The aim was to climb to the highest point possible and then start singing "I’m the king of the castle and you’re the dirty rascal!"Read More
Has the world has fallen on its side and turned this boat into a pot of soup? All of us as frightened peas bubbling to the front in order to escape the heat at the back. Where is this place we are running to that turns getting off the ferry into an Olympic sprint?Read More
Yes, just another photo of a man taking a photo of a photographer taking a photo of a wedding. Maybe there was someone behind me doing the same and someone behind them and so on and so on.Read More
The alien vision theory goes like this. The viewer throws out everything he or she knows about anything and then looks at a situation with naked and uncluttered eyes. So much for the theory. In reality 100% alien-eyeness is impossible in a normally functioning human being. It is, however, possible to get close.Read More